Worst Clairmont Show #1

You would think it would be pretty hard to beat out the “sound check” show for Clairmont’s worst live show, but don’t underestimate the risks of experiencing the absolute worst when you are a part of an independent band.

Edgewood, TX – Clairmont’s #1 Worst Live Show

At the intersection of highway HW 80 and FM 859 lies the one horse town of Edgewood, TX. From our houses in Bryan, it is about a four hour drive through miles and miles of one lane country roads. Had we not been driving through central Texas, that would normally mean it was a scenic drive. We may have seen a hill or two, I don’t quite remember.

I was already dreading the show because the Astros and Braves were playing game two of the Divisional Series that same night, and I was going to have to miss it for the show. (As I mentioned before, I am a big Astros fan). If we had been guaranteed a great show with a crowd of 500 people, I would of had no problem making the sacrifice; however, we already heard some music online of the bands that we were going to be playing with, and it wasn’t looking too promising.

We pulled into Edgewood a couple hours before the start of the event. We were having some trouble finding the venue, which was odd because the town stretches about half a mile in all directions.

While driving around looking for the right place, Ben and I stumbled across something that gave us valuable insight on what to expect out of Edgewood, TX. At the town stoplight, we pulled up next to an eyesore of a truck. It was an old brown Chevy pickup that looked like it had seen it’s fair share of mudding trips, and on the back windshield in big white letters, read “SEXY BUT TAKEN.”

Ben and I chuckled.

Of course when you see something like that you are curious to see how sexy this person actually is. From what we had already seen of the town, we were surprised to have discovered such a sexy person, so we were intrigued. When we pulled up next to the truck, I glanced over to see a guy, about 17 or 18 years old, who was wearing a cowboy hat, a long sleeve flannel button down, and a vest made out of cow hide.

My immediate thought was: “perfect”

Just then, our new sexy friend leisurely pulled from his lap a 40 oz. can of Keystone Light and took a sip. Happiness flooded my body. Ben and I could not control ourselves and just busted out laughing. My window was down, so he of course heard us and peeled out with a disgruntled look on his face. (Although the disgruntled look could have been mistaken for a bitter beer face, we weren’t sure) Anyways, that was the last we saw of our sexy friend.

After a couple more u-turns, we finally found the place where we were supposed to play. It turned out to be an all-in-one skate park, paint ball field, and motocross track that was in the very center of town. This excited us because a venue like that is sure to bring out a bunch of kids on a Friday night. It was looking like our trip to Edgewood was going to turn out for the better after all.

We got out, met some of the other bands, and then started unloading our gear. The stage was in a warehouse that had standing room for about 800-1000 people. We knew of course that we wouldn’t quite get a turn out that big, but we were optimistic that there would be a decent crowd.

We had about an hour before the show was supposed to start, so at that point we just sat around and waited. An hour went by and still the only people that were there were the bands and an older gentlemen that appeared to work there. We quickly conceded that this was probably going to be as disappointing as we had expected to be.

As if we hadn’t already been overexposed to the fine culture of Edgewood, TX, behind us an irate man with a pretty good buzz going was carrying on a conversation with another man about his frustrations with the “n*ggers in this country” (his words, not mine) and how they could use some negative reinforcement.

It took a while for us to shake that one off.

Another hour went by and still nobody came. We became desperate and started playing frisbee with an already cracked CD. While CD frisbee is always fun, it was pretty late and our situation was looking pretty grim. There really was nobody else there but the bands. We started asking ourselves, “did they put the wrong date on the fliers when they promoted the show?” “How can absolutely nobody show up to a show that has five bands on it?” Our confusion grew and grew until finally, the manager of the venue stepped out to the center of the room and made an announcement.

“Well, it looks like no one else is going to show up. I’m not sure why it is that we have such a low turnout, but I did hear that one of the popular girls at the high school was having a party at her house. So maybe that’s where everyone is.”

“Anyways, you are welcome to play for the other bands here or you can go home. We have some food in the back that you can have, and we will cover you for gas.”

We looked at each other, nodded our heads, and walked over to grab our stuff.

The funny thing is, is that before we even left for the show, all of us in the band very seriously considered dropping off of the bill to save us a four hour drive for what was looking like it was going to be a very small turnout; however, a unanimous decision was made to tough it out so not to burn any bridges.