I Went to Leakey, TX and All I Got Was…

+A five hour drive that is flat and ugly until the last ten minutes.

+An exact Willie Nelson look alike. (just without the drug-tainted skin)

+The question: “Have you ever heard of Reba McEntire?”

+…and the statement: “Well my sister loves Reba. Even when she writes the worst song ever out of all her CD’s, she’s still obsessed with it.“

+The ability to play “Open the Eyes of My Heart” in order to give the people a song that they know.

+Dive bombing bats flying inches from my face striking fear into the hearts of me and others close by.

+Getting in trouble for skipping rocks in the Frio River, and just as I was getting warmed up. (Six skips. no joke)

+A public bat execution. (explanation here)

+New found friendship with the professional skit ensemble: “The Skidiots”

+A five hour drive home that was only nice for the first ten minutes.

I enjoy small town culture. Unfortunately it doesn’t feel the same way about me. I never look like I’m from “around here”, and I get dozens of suspicious glances because of it.

I’m not surprised by this though…

My look is all wrong. I’m always overdressed. I don’t walk right. I don’t talk right. I don’t have the right skin tone. I look way too clean and way too happy. It also doesn’t help that I am 22 years old, because in order to be a resident of a small town like Leakey, you must fall within the ages of 0-13 or 40+ (or you have to look 40+). Sometimes there are people in their 30’s that smoke and drink enough to make the cut.

The fact of the matter is, I wanna fit in.

I’m tired of bein’ judged and look’d down upon at them local hometown markets. I wanna be able to order me sum delicious enchilada platters without me gettin’ all them suspicious eyes lookin’ round at me. A man has him some rights. He has him some rights to go through the deer corn drive-thru and not be treated like sum spoiled little city boy. I surely has those rights!

Next time Leakey, TX…I’m coming prepared. You’ve treated me like an outsider for the last time!